Seriously Contemplating

Lately, I've been rethinking my choice in courses and thinking about my lifestyle now. Really, I thought I was sure of what I wanted to be and what I wanted to achieve in life t, now, I'm not all that sure anymore....

I came to realize that in this 3 months, I've only been all about for assignments and college and when I'm not doing assignments ( which is actually when I'm in the car or showering or eating) I'm missing all the times from my awesome past, what with a bunch of crazy great girlfriends, funny noisy guyfriends and awesome amiable teachers. It feels as if I've lost my life and yeah, because really, if I'm not sleeping or eating or showering, I'm doing assignments and my kiasu attitude just won't let me skip one assignment.... haih.... and all my friends have been asking me out to yam cha and all that and honestly, I felt so angry at myself for not being able to join them. I know they don't mean to but it felt as if they were pressuring me to go or mocking my state of assignments frenzy! Well, I know I'm just thinking it all up. I know the love me and I love them too. 

Being in such frustration, I actually contemplated changing to study psychology. I've always been interested in it and all . I know for a fact that its not gonna be easy, but atleast I'll be getting more sleep? I like studying anyway. The joy of picking up a book, sitting on my bed and just read the whole afternoon. I probably won't be saying this when I'm really studying XD. But yeah, it's been so hectic, even my mother is asking me to really think about it because she sees me in my tired stupor and she knows what time I sleep AND I complain alot, so yah. XD. 

I know that I won't amount to anything if I don't go through what I'm really going through right now. I mean for anyone to be successful, there will be a period in time when they triumph over sleepless nights and just work on what they are doing, driven by will and passion. I understand that. But I cannot deny the fact that I am only human. Not SuperHuman ( Chris Brown!!! =_=). But yeah. I mean, really, this is crazy. I should really have listened to Shirin and think it over. 

Besides that, its actually fun when it is fun. I mean, I met awesome friends and really interesting lecturers! Then again, my mother said that if I work like how I'm working now in the future, how am I gonna starts a family? Where can I find time for my family? WHEN WILL I HAVE THE TIME TO SEARCH FOR MR.ROMEO????? NYUUUUUU!!!!! my 25 years old get married and m 3 kids..... haih....

 

i REALLY am CONTEMPLATING now. (Even after Ange said he will haunt me........ XD)